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Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast
Today’s podcast episode is about dealing with feelings of shame and embarrassment when it comes to erectile dysfunction.
The Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast is dedicated to educating and empowering men to address erectile dysfunction, improve confidence, and enhance the satisfaction in their relationships. This podcast is hosted by certified sex therapist, Mark Goldberg, LCMFT, CST.
Transcript of Episode 14 – Shame, Embarrassment and Erectile Dysfunction
On this episode, we’re going to talk about why you shouldn’t be embarrassed about addressing erectile dysfunction. As we’ve mentioned before, erectile dysfunction can be distressing, it could also be extremely embarrassing.
Shame and embarrassment can cause men to shut down and not want to deal, and certainly not want to talk to somebody about this. Before you find yourself in this position, before you pull away, before you shut down, ignore what’s happening or pretend like it isn’t happening, there are a number of points that I think are worth considering.
First of all, erectile dysfunction is normal and natural. It happens to a lot of men and will affect most men at some point. Erections are a complex process that involve parts of your body and parts of your brain. These parts are not easily controlled, certainly not without a more thorough understanding of your process.
In other words, this is most likely not your fault. It is like many other medical conditions. Remember, the quicker you address this, the less likely your challenges are to compound.
There is an inherent paradox when it comes to men and erections. Many men believe that they should be able to achieve an erection, and this is a test of their manhood. At the same time, when you ask a man how exactly he makes that happen, what his role is in the process, you will be hard-pressed to get an answer.
How can it be that a measure of manhood is based on something that you are not actively, intentionally contributing to? How can that make you more or less of a man? To me, this would be the equivalent of measuring manliness or manhood by your muscle mass without ever stepping foot in the gym.
The fact that you have muscles is a genetic lottery and not based on anything that you have done. The flip side is being embarrassed about not having muscle mass and feeling like you are less of a man without having intentionally tried to work out.
Why is that a fair measure? And more importantly, have you given yourself a fair chance?
One of the amazing things about the process of addressing your psychogenic factors is that the negative experiences compound.
Once anxiety sets in, it feeds itself and it grows, but the opposite is true as well. Some steps in a positive direction work to calm the worry and anxiety. They help you challenge your faulty beliefs about yourself, and they empower you to continue in those positive steps.
Embarrassment and shame are the two biggest barriers to this positive process getting started. I see this all the time in my office. Many men experience significant improvement over just a few short meetings, but some of them have shared with me that they have been holding my card or it’s been sitting on their nightstand for six months before they had the courage to call.
I’m going to emphasize this again. The positive changes that you make are more than just in the moment tricks. This is building a process of change that will go with you for years to come.
With that possibility, shame and embarrassment should not be a reason that you miss this opportunity. A relatively small investment can be life-altering, and positive steps now will lead to more positive steps down the road and in the future.
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To start your in-depth approach to resolving ED, try our online learning course called BEYOND THE LITTLE BLUE PILL, The Thinking Man’s Guide to Understanding and Addressing ED.
Ready to talk to an ED expert? Erection IQ founder Mark Goldberg helps men resolve erectile dysfunction. He offers individual, one-on-one services to men throughout the world through a secure, telehealth platform. It’s 100% confidential. You can visit the Center for Intimacy, Connection and Change website to
Schedule A Consultationwith Mark.