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Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast

On today’s episode of the podcast, we discuss whether or not it benefits a man dealing with erectile dysfunction to quit pornography.

The Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast is dedicated to educating and empowering men to address erectile dysfunction, improve confidence, and enhance the satisfaction in their relationships. This podcast is hosted by certified sex therapist, Mark Goldberg, LCMFT, CST.

Transcript of Episode 38 – Should I Quit Porn to Benefit my Erections?

Casey: And we’re back. My name is Casey, I am the podcast producer at ED Radio. I am joining Mark once again for a chat, and today we want to talk about a familiar subject on this podcast: pornography. A common question that Mark has received at the podcast is about watching porn, and in particular, he often gets the question: should I stop watching porn to benefit my erections?

A lot of men have self-diagnosed porn as a cause of erectile dysfunction, and so we want to tackle that question today. For those who may have missed our previous episode on pornography and erectile dysfunction, please recap for us what the impact of porn is on erections generally speaking.

Mark: It’s a complex question. I want to make sure that we’re being as clear as we can. It’s a debated question as to whether porn is responsible or has a primary role in erectile dysfunction, and like we covered in the episode, again, more thoroughly, I think that there is evidence to support both the notion that it has some impact on some men and also doesn’t have a broad impact across the board on all men.

When we talk about pornography impacting erectile dysfunction, this really has to be looked at on an individual level. For some men, pornography may be helping with erections, and for other men, it may have a role in erectile dysfunction, it may have a role in situational erectile dysfunction, but it really has to be looked at on an individual basis.

The other piece we have to be clear about is that, to my knowledge, pornography has no direct physical or physiological impact on the erection process. Pornography really impacts the brain, as we’ve emphasized on this podcast, the brain plays a tremendously important role in erections. So the question really is, how does pornography impact the brain, and the brain’s process of signaling to the body to facilitate an erection?

And a lot of that has to do with how a man processes pornography, how he thinks about pornography, how he stores those memories, the expectations that it creates the guilt, shame.

Pornography as a topic to paint it in broad strokes, I think is very difficult to directly point at its impact on erections. When you take the complexity of the mind and everything that goes into erections, one can see more clearly how any particular man thinks when pornography is added to that picture can lead to erectile dysfunction.

Casey: Why do you think men often use pornography as a scapegoat, as something they look to blame their erectile dysfunction on?

Mark: I think there’s a natural curiosity and a natural drive to try to solve the challenge and the problem of erectile dysfunction. If we can find a single causality, if we can find one thing that if we just change that one thing… everything would work well, why would we not try to find that? Pornography is a very easy scapegoat to hang that on.

I think many men are aware that pornography can set very high expectations, pornography oftentimes delivers high levels of stimulation, whether that’s visual, audio; pornography is also most often viewed alone when anxiety is lower and pleasure is at its peak.

When men try to replicate that in other settings, it could be challenging, sometimes it could be hard to deliver that level of excitement. Sometimes there’s more anxiety that’s present in other settings that is not present when a man’s viewing pornography.

That doesn’t mean pornography is responsible, that may indicate that pornography is powerful enough to override the underlying challenges that a man may be experiencing, but it’s much easier to point and blame pornography than it is to really do a deeper dive and look at the complexity of the erection process and the challenges that you may be experiencing.

Casey: Pornography may lead to excessive masturbation. While there is no set definition or threshold to determine what excessive masturbation is. How do you define it? And do you think it impacts ED?

Mark: So it’s an interesting question. I want to preface this by saying I’m not sure that porn leads to excessive masturbation, in other words, pornography is generally not something that is lurking or seeking people out. People choose to engage in pornography, and if somebody makes the choice to engage in pornography very often, that leads to masturbation, and if somebody is doing that multiple times a day, then that can lead to excessive masturbation.

I do recognize that some people do struggle with out-of-control behaviors, and they do feel like that is something that they cannot control, and I recognize that that is a real challenge in some people’s lives. That being said, excessive masturbation, as you mentioned, Casey, is very difficult to define.

The way I think about excessive masturbation is twofold, one, is it causing some kind of physical discomfort? In other words, are you driven to masturbate, even though it may be uncomfortable, even though the friction from the masturbation may be causing pain or even bleeding in some cases? That to me would be an indication, again, of excessive masturbation, barring a known physical condition that would cause that otherwise.

The other piece of excessive masturbation is if it’s interfering with normal function, and what I mean by that is, if a man is not able to hold down a job because he needs to take time off during the day, multiple times to go and masturbate. If a man is having trouble maintaining relationships or family relationships because he can’t be present or…Those are other things that I think that are helpful in a definition of excessive masturbation is the impact that it’s having on a man’s life.

Excessive masturbation can have impacts in both of these areas. In other words, excessive masturbation can impact erections both physically and mentally. So there’s a number of conditions, and we cover this a little bit more when we spoke about masturbation on the podcast. There are a number of conditions that excessive masturbation can either illicit if somebody is genetically predisposed or can be made worse by masturbating too often.

And there is the mental side of masturbation, which brings a number of challenges where a man may become acclimated to particular sensations, particular feelings, pressure that make replicating in erection in a partnered setting very challenging.

Casey: So let’s look on the positive side of things, so if it is accepted within one’s cultural and/or religious norms, what are some of the benefits of watching porn, consuming porn with a loved one or by oneself?

Mark: So that’s a fantastic question, and I appreciate you highlighting that. It’s not all bad. There are benefits for people who are, again, culturally and religiously comfortable with pornography. So one of the benefits is people who may struggle with lower desire may be able to illicit higher levels of sexual desire with stimulation from pornography. I know that a lot of people don’t find that to be an adequate solution long-term for lower desire, sometimes though, utilizing pornography to get things started again, can be effective.

Another benefit of viewing pornography, whether with a partner or alone, I do believe that it should be consensual if you’re in a relationship and viewing pornography on your own, but one of those benefits is sometimes people have sexual desires that they’re uncomfortable with.

They may think is taboo, or strange, or weird, and by being able to access pornography and being able to understand that what they’re interested in, what really peaks their desire is something that other people are interested in as well, that can be very affirming, very validating, and allow people to be much more comfortable with themselves. Ultimately decreasing a sense of anxiety, increasing a sense of pleasure, allowing them to communicate with our partner or to engage in solo activity in a way that they find pleasurable and can potentially lead to better sexual function, more sexual pleasure for both men and women.

Casey: What can be the downside of watching pornography in terms of how it may impact a man’s relationship with pleasure?

Mark: So there are a number of potential challenges with pornography. As I mentioned earlier, expectations is one of those challenges. A lot of what is produced for pornography is not realistic. It’s very difficult to replicate a lot of things that are seen in pornography in a partner setting.

And as those expectations get set, that can lead to a substantial decrease in a sense of pleasure and partnered activity that otherwise potentially could have been pleasurable. Not all people experience this, but some people will, so that I see as a potential downside of pornography and how it can impact a man’s relationship with pleasure.

The other potential impact is men and women can become acclimated to solo activity to the point that not only do they prefer that, but it’s really the only thing that really gets them going. And like I mentioned earlier, pornography can be very powerful, it can really deliver high levels of stimulation and pleasure that may be difficult to replicate with a partner.

Some relationships are okay, and even thrive on having that as the primary way that they engage in sexual activity, but I think for many relationships, they want to have a sex life that involves various forms of sexual activity that really only involve the couple, really only involve them without the aid of pornography. And porn can create some challenges with being able to achieve and sustain that level of pleasure.

Casey: Will a man’s erections benefit from quitting porn cold turkey? Or just quitting porn in general? I’m not really sure what the recommended process for quitting porn is, I’m just assuming cold turkey might be the most common way to quit porn… but I’d love to hear your thoughts on that?

Mark: Highly controversial question, and again, I’m very, very cautious with making blanket statements. Generally, what I would say is if a man is experiencing erectile dysfunction and has ample reason to believe that that is somehow associated with pornography use, I think it’s okay to take a break and see what happens.

In other words I don’t see a downside in testing this. Where I emphasize caution is not to assume that you have already found the answer, and if you go ahead and stop watching porn and it doesn’t resolve your erectile dysfunction, then you are out of options.

So there can be benefit, and like we mentioned, some men can experience elements of erectile dysfunction because of how porn is impacting the unique makeup of their brain, and removing pornography can for some men help to alleviate erectile dysfunction where it may be manifesting. However, I don’t give that as blanket advice for anybody who is listening to this, to say that there is a well-documented immediate benefit for men who experience erectile dysfunction in various settings from quitting porn.

I believe, and I think I have seen clinically that it really very much depends on each man circumstances, and again, I don’t see a major downside to trying and seeing what happens, just be aware that you’re not out of options at that point, if it doesn’t work.

Casey: Do you have anything else you want to discuss with our audience today before we end today’s interview?

Mark: I would just re-emphasize to not get caught up in the role of pornography as the sole reason or the sole singular causality of erectile dysfunction. ED is complex, it’s got a medical side, it has a mental side, porn probably has a role in the mental side, but it certainly is not the whole picture.

And if you want to get things working better, looking at the entire picture is going to be far more effective than just picking and choosing what you think may or may not be involved.

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