Listen to When a Pregnant Partner Triggers Erectile Dysfunction through the podcast player above.
Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast
Any major life event can impact erections and contribute to a man’s Erectile Dysfunction (ED). If those life events involve sex it can be even more impactful. The news of a partner becoming pregnant can trigger ED for many different reasons. Today’s episode explores this phenomenon and offers advice for dealing with it to better improve erections.
The Erectile Dysfunction Radio Podcast is dedicated to educating and empowering men to address erectile dysfunction, improve confidence, and enhance the satisfaction in their relationships. This podcast is hosted by certified sex therapist, Mark Goldberg, LCMFT, CST.
Transcript of Episode 28 – When a Pregnant Partner Triggers Erectile Dysfunction
Any life change can impact erections and trigger erectile dysfunction. I know that’s daunting. It can be even more impactful when those events are directly linked to erections and sexual activity.
Today’s topic is about erectile dysfunction and pregnancy. It is important to mention that every person is different and every person thinks differently throughout their life span, it can be difficult to talk about how pregnancy can trigger erectile dysfunction as there are people who are struggling with fertility.
This is not meant to be insensitive, in fact, we covered infertility and erectile dysfunction on an earlier podcast, and I encourage you to listen to that episode as well. The news of a partner becoming pregnant can trigger erectile dysfunction or make it worse, there are a number of factors that can do this, and we will try to outline them today.
A planned, successful pregnancy is a beautiful thing. It signifies a starting of, or an addition to a family. Couples will often share a certain amount of excitement together, this can lead to a closeness and connection that has not been previously felt for these couples, improved satisfying sexual engagement can occur.
That’s not to say that getting pregnant is a way to improve sexual function, nor is it a good reason to have a child. Now, in reality, for many couples, this is not as blissful, even if they want to have a child.
There is a lot of anxiety associated with having a child, some couples are fortunate enough to be financially stable and don’t have to worry about the myriad of costs associated with having a kid.
Most people are not in that position, and we can’t wait until the first 18 years of a child’s life is fully funded. The bottom line is for most guys, this can be financially stressful, and stress is mind-occupying and can cause tension and conflict between partners as well.
Women go through a lot of changes during pregnancy, which can affect their interest or desire for sex, their bodies are releasing all sorts of hormones to accommodate a growing fetus, they also can experience increased exhaustion, physical discomfort.
All of this is entirely normal and is generally not a reflection of you or your pregnant partner. Many men experience rejection, they feel that their partners are no longer invested in the relationship and are choosing the fetus over them.
The vast majority of the time, however, this is not personal, try not to take it that way. Unfortunately, a fair amount of couples track their sexual problems and sexual dysfunction to this time period in their
lives. For many men, this issue will resolve when your partner is feeling up to it again, which won’t be too far off.
Try not to blow this up into a bigger ordeal, as we’ve mentioned many times on this podcast, every man is different with regard to what he enjoys or finds pleasurable.
There’s a sizable portion of men who find pregnant women very attractive, and of course, there are different physical changes at different stages of pregnancy that may be appealing. Some men may struggle though with these changes, and if that’s happening for you, you need to be honest with yourself.
A common but largely irrational fear that some men have is that the baby will be aware of sexual intercourse. To my knowledge, there is no evidence that supports this. Sex is generally not a problem with pregnancy, unless your medical doctor has told you otherwise sex is safe, will not harm the fetus, and the fetus will not know about you having sex.
I know that it could be hard to relax with those thoughts and concerns going through your mind.
Now, pregnancy is not always wanted. Yes, some people struggle to get what others don’t want, it’s a hard reality, but it’s true. There are two primary situations of unwanted pregnancy that we will cover, the first is when pregnancy is not intended, and the second is when a man agrees to conception but is not emotionally on board, both of these situations can contribute to erectile dysfunction.
Some partners really want to start or expand a family. A man may, on the one hand, want to be a good partner, but on the other hand, may have understandable reservations. Pressure from a partner in particular around the possibility of her leaving the relationship, or being very upset, can be enough to cause a man to agree, but emotions are more complex than this.
Even when a man is mostly on board, emotions fluctuate and the fear and hesitation can re-emerge at various points throughout the process of conception and pregnancy, erectile dysfunction, is more common in the conception process if there is ambivalence, but could persist after conception as well.
Now, what if this pregnancy wasn’t planned, what if the condom broke? This can be a difficult occurrence to recover from regardless of how you and your sexual partner choose to proceed with the pregnancy. It can be challenging to continue partnered sexual activity.
Most commonly, anxiety can set in with a pronounced fear of pregnancy, including the preoccupation with whether the contraception is even reliable, men can also develop a lack of trust in future encounters or with new partners, basic trust is fundamental to working erections when having partnered sex.
If you can’t trust, you probably can’t relax and your mind will be preoccupied with everything except pleasure. Beyond that, erections and ejaculation are one of the active ingredients in pregnancy. It makes sense that your mind would interfere in that process in an effort to protect you from an unwanted outcome.
If you are worried, your body is going to talk and say what you might not be able to put into words.
If you are one of the many men who can trace the onset of their erectile dysfunction to something that happened in a partner setting around the possibility of or fear of an unwanted pregnancy, you should know that you are not alone.
Subscribe to our Podcast
Ready to Learn More?
To start your in-depth approach to resolving ED, try our online learning course called BEYOND THE LITTLE BLUE PILL, The Thinking Man’s Guide to Understanding and Addressing ED.
Ready to talk to an ED expert? Erection IQ founder Mark Goldberg helps men resolve erectile dysfunction. He offers individual, one-on-one services to men throughout the world through a secure, telehealth platform. It’s 100% confidential. You can visit the Center for Intimacy, Connection and Change website to
Schedule A Consultationwith Mark.